I saw you last night

To: code name Robert

I was listening to my brother talk nonsense when a white car drove into the hotel’s lobby. I remember the white car he had. Whenever I see a white car, I think of him. I wondered if it could be him inside. No, maybe not because a girl went out of the car. Followed by an adult looking guy in black clothes. The girl went in, then the guy turned and walked straight to where the party was. He came. He now had long hair. One side was poised upwards. A fixed stare. It was him. As he passed by, I just simply enjoyed watching him walk. I calmed down. It’s been a long time. Oh. Artista walk.  It was as if I was paralyzed into place. His longs legs… His face… or half of it… He turned and walked to where the party was… long hair…I enjoyed his presence and breathed in a sigh of relief. He came. But so late. I was at my car. We were going home. He couldn’t see me. If I went out it would be so awkward. Would he even talk to me? If I passed by, would he? What will he say this time? Just watching him walk is so astounding. Such a miracle. Such an amazing thing to witness.

We stayed at the car for a few more minutes. Oh no, what was I to do? I couldn’t just go in and ask for an explanation. Why did I feel this way about him? Why does he make me feel this way? As I waited for my brother while he was texting someone and “eating” a cupcake, I felt something inside of me. I was complete. Yes, he came! Yes, I saw him! This is incredible. Now we are in the same city. Now, what on earth am I going to do? Go home…

“Di pata mag adto, kuya?” (when are we going, brother?) hoping to just run away and leave him. His fault he couldn’t face me and he came in so late. What is his purpose for coming? Earlier, I heard his friend call him and tell him to come because it was already safe. “Ali na, she’s here”. I believe I waited for eternity, but finally after texting something, my brother moved the car handle and turned on the drive so we could start our trip home. As the car slowly went forward, I didn’t notice a guy came out of lobby, the car continued forward; he turned to his right. he was outside beside me and I was inside the car… and walked right past us, my back facing him, I turned to look at him walking right past us. The car turned to its right and on to the road. The guy continued walking and I thank my stars I got to see him again. I felt that our car was moving so slowly. As he walked I looked at him and absorbed everything I saw. He had long hair like an anime character. He was wearing black longsleeves. He had his black sling bag with him. He walked a straight walk. With confidence and purpose. Eyes ahead. His stare. He’s changed. He’s grown up…As the guy continued walking straight, he came to another white car, his car?, a pick up? he opened its door. I didn’t have the guts to say hi to him. I’m glad I saw him. Changes - what one year could bring.

The worst thing that could’ve happened at the party was you not showing up. But you did, though you were way too late. Why did you come after the party has ended? It was a pleasure seeing you pass by.